OK, ladies and gentlemen, put on your Thinking Caps...

And come up with a Cheap-Ass alarm.

On the Mazda, I don't want to go to the trouble or expense of installing a
real alarm, but I want something.

Honking the horn and flashing the flashers would be good enough. I want
the horn to 'beep', so a flasher unit and a relay or two would be good.

There's two ways to set the thing up:

Put something like a key switch under the fender, turn on when leaving,
turn off when using the car.

Or, a little more sophisticaed: put a switch inside the car. Now, this
would mean triggering the 'alarm' when getting into the car, something I
don't want to do at 1 AM when I'm leaving on my 'paper route'. So, some
kind of delay would be good. I was thinking a capacitor between the hot
line and the 1st relay, so the cap charges and when it reaches charged it
triggers the relay and starts the flasher.

But, I need a hint what size cap to use, and how to wire it into the relay
so that it charges before setting off the horn, maybe 20 seconds is good.

Of course, we could get REAL sophisticated and use the ol' venerable 555
timer, but that's more involved than I want to make it.

Any ideas?

 

a viper.. not the car alarm, but a real life viper...

 

OR...the system portrayed in the opening scenes of Robocop II.

 

Go to K-Mart or Wal-Mart and get a cheapo alarm.

 

Believe it or not, this was EXACTLY what I was watching back in 1991 on
HBO when my Hachiroku got stolen the first time...

 

I agree. Car alarms are basically ineffective, because they false constantly
and so they get ignored. Even if _your_ alarm is perfect, if it goes off in
the supermarket parking lot nobody will even bother to look at the car, because
they are all so used to false alarms all the time.

BUT, a thirty-foot anaconda will definitely be a theft-stopping wonder, if not
deterring any theft attempts in the first place. Everybody should have them.
You could sell them with the slogan "Get your Honda An Anaconda." If you use
that slogan, though, I want royalties.
--scott

 

Too bad it wasn't an option.

 

Why not buy those battery operated blinking LEDs that pretend to be a
viper on standby. Putting a switch under the fender may have some
drawbacks during winter season. I am thinking you do not like those
metal bars you put on the steering wheel and brake pedals.

 

**Trunk monkey and a Louisville Slugger.

kaboomie

 

A 555 circuit is sophisticated???

You can buy time delay relays on the surplus market, but driving a
regular relay directly from a capacitor takes a huge capacitor because
the load resistance is so low, and time delay is proportional to R x
C. I'd use a 555 or quad comparator (339?) for everything, and you
should be able to make it activate automatically when you shut off the
key. In Nogales, USA, vehicle fleet owners favor hidden kill switches
to stop thieves from Nogales, Mexico.

Have you checked www.epanorama.net? Lots of electronics links there.

 

How about a Doberman? A friend of mine finds no need to even lock his van
when his Doberman is in it. It won't even let me into the van without him
there even though it knows that I'm ok. Nobody gets into the van unless
they have either a bullet or a tranquilizer dart.

Eric

 

Smoke with the windows up so the inside stinks to high heaven. Oops, you do
that now don't you!

 

I have a friend that has a pitbull/Akita mix, but he won't give her up...

 

Yup. I did this after I posted this post:

http://home.maine.rr.com/randylinscott/jan20.htm

You know, I worked in Andover MA 27 years ago, in a building shared with
Raytheon. A lot of cars there, and there was a rash of burglaries in the
parking lot.

A guy I worked with who was really smart came up with a circuit very, very
similar to this one. I installed it in my '80 Corolla, took an end
connector from one of the units I was working on, put a key switch in it,
and a plastic cap and mounted it in the fender well. It worked quite well.


That's why I had asked about a 555 CKT.

 

Ah, yes. The trunk monkey!!!

Too high maintenance, though. Can they be litter box trained?

http://www.trunkmonkey.com/

 

(Scott Dorsey) wrote in

You couldn't handle a "30 ft" anaconda.
Plus it would pee in your car,and STINK it up.
I had an alarm in my 94 Integra,and Jun 29,at 3:40AM,it went off,I
immediately looked out my window,and they were already rolling my car
away.I jumped into my shorts,grabbed my gun bag and ran out,and the car was
already out the gate and well down the road,alarm blaring.(a gated
community!) All this in less than a minute.

It had a starter disable,that's why they pushstarted it.
I had a fuel cutoff relay I was going to install with a hidden magnetic
switch,but didn't have a chance to do it. The car was 'recovered' 3 days
later,two counties way,stripped and burned,a total loss.

Hondas are really easy to steal,up until they began using immobilizer keys
and coding the ECU to the keys.

you need to immobilize the car so they can't drive it off;meaning a fuel
cutoff or removal of a critical part like the ECU,and the alarm is just to
tell you they have gotten INTO the car and may be removing your stereo,air
bags,seats,or other parts. Then you need a GUN to safely 'detain' them
until police arrive,which can be a long wait.In some states it's legal to
shoot the thieves,especially if they move towards you.

 

can't leave them in there on a hot day.

Best Buy;about $200 gets you an alarm,installed.

 

A friend and fellow writer I once knew had a reticulated python that
was bigger than she was. One time I dropped by her house to drop off a
document we were working on and the python met me at the door. At
least its head did. Its tail was in the dining room. I have no idea
how long it was, but I often wondered how my fellow writer handled the
snake.



Elliot Richmond
Itinerant astronomy teacher
Freelance science writer

 

Our family had Dobermans for years and they are easily bribed by food
(as is just about any dawg). In fact, the last one (I swear) would
point to the loot...

JT

 

Here in Florida,dumb people get pythons,and when they get too big,they
release them outdoors,peoples pets begin disappearing,and they grow even
bigger,and then animal control or the police end up having to capture
them;they get bit,nearly strangled,and it takes at least 3 people to
wrangle one of them. Even their owners get bit or hurt when
handling them. Reptiles do NOT make good pets.